I was lying in bed last night, not quite ready to fall asleep, turning the events of the weekend over in my mind. All in all, it was a happy decision, it was the RIGHT decision, to go back to my hometown for my 20-year high school reunion. Seeing long-ago friends again was well worth it.
More interesting, though, was meeting up with the people I didn't know well in school. Yes, that's a little euphemistic of me. 260 of us, approximately, in the grad class - could we really all know each other? And yes, some of us weren't friends, or even friendly, way back then. I am certain I was a jerk (again, euphemistically speaking) to at least some people some of the time way back then.
Twenty years later, though, I mostly can't remember why I didn't know certain people, or why we didn't get along. That's a powerful realization, in fact, because it freed me to talk to people I may not otherwise have talked with back in 1988.
I had heard of some people telling the organizers that they would not come because of bitter or painful memories of high school (and how interesting, then, to see one particularly bitter case show up at the bar where we were AFTER the event was over - bitter memories or a tight wallet, I wonder cynically). Part of me gets it - I was a little afraid, frankly, to see one or two of my former classmates because I could recall specific unpleasantness between us back then. But it IS 20 years.
20. Apply whatever water-under-the-bridge cliche you like, it will fit. A lot of us have grown up, and re-meeting these people this past weekend showed me that had I clung to the ghosts of bygone days at Caledonia, I would not have had some of the conversations I was glad I had.
Did I have a lot in common with everyone? No, of course not. Some conversations were short, polite, found no footing beyond niceties. It happens. With other classmates, however, I found myself deeply engaged in quite enjoyable conversation, and that was kind of the point of the reunion, I think.
I'm beginning to lose my thread now, so I'll move on to photos. I'll have other posts about the weekend events in days ahead, but I wanted to start by acknowledging a number of former classmates I didn't know well back then. If any of them read this, I hope they know that talking to them was a true highlight of the weekend because they gave me a chance to know them a little.
I've known Carol for years before high school, just not well enough. I've always known her to be friendly and sweet. She looks even more gorgeous now - look at that hair colour.
Tracie, on the right, and I used to work together at a restaurant - I know her from that experience a little rather than from our time in high school. She was one of the few people who didn't recognize me at first. Larissa, in between us, is the wife of our classmate Wayne.
I knew the two women, Michelle (on the left) and Donna (on the right) somewhat. Michelle and I worked together after high school at Don Diego's. Her father, I should add, was my favourite teacher of all time. Billie, the other man in the photo, I've known since about grade 5 without really knowing. We chatted some on Friday night, and I was glad to hear that he has a nice family life these days.
Pam I've long known and adored. A beautiful girl, a stunning woman, a successful school administrator. Colin, between us, went to Thornhill for Junior High, so I didn't even meet him until we all got to Cal in grade 11 (FYI, junior high - there are two in my hometown - is grade 8-10. Everyone came together at the Senior Secondary, Caledonia, for grades 11 and 12). The two years together wasn't enough time without many shared classes to get to know each other. He told me he'd read my research articles, though. I was immensely flattered, and he, Conrad, and I all talked for a good long time on Friday night.
Julie and Mitch I've known since grade 5. Mitch and I were friends at that younger age, going over to each other's houses after school. Within a few years, though, we'd already grown apart. I am sorry about that. Mitch really came through for the grad class in that he co-owns a car dealership/car rental business that offered the reunion attendees deeply discounted rates. He also provided a vehicle for us for the parade and drinks on Saturday night. I did get to thank him, but I didn't get to know him well again, and I am sorry about that as well.
Of everyone I knew would be at the reunion, Andy was the one I was most anxious about. I don't feel like I was bullied in school, but I was intimidated by Andy. I didn't know what to expect. Foolish of me. Andy and I chatted some, and we have the shared experience of living in the US for parts of our adult life, it seems. He was altogether friendly. Just as nice was meeting his girlfriend, a terrific (and lovely) woman who was the teacher/librarian at when two of my younger half-brothers were going through school. That gave us some further connection, too. Andy looks great, he seems happy, he's doing well with his business - I was glad for all three.
On Saturday night, Conrad and I escaped the loud band by sitting out on the patio for a while. It's light longer in Terrace at this time of year, so it wasn't dark yet. The bar wasn't crowded (the public was let in at 9:00), but there were some smokers out there. We'd only just sat down when Lorino came out for a cigarette or two. His wife (girlfriend? I never did catch her name or clarify that status, and shame on me) sat down with us, and the four of us roamed through conversation on work, construction, holidays, travel destinations, Alberta versus BC, and more. Just easy-flowing conversation (and Andy came out and joined us for a bit). Isn't that what the reunion is for?
I first saw Billie earlier that day at the parade. Anita was great about spotting classmates among the spectators and convincing them to walk, and sure enough, she got Billie to join us for a bit. Later that evening, Conrad and I were chatting with her quite enjoyably. You know, I didn't worry about classmates having an issue with me being an out gay man. Most of them probably guessed it, a number of them would have known it already. People really were glad to meet Conrad and get to know him. Our conversation with Billie epitomized the wonderful acceptance, and then some. Not only did we laugh about weddings and registries together, but Billie told us about one of her co-workers who has been rejected by his large family because he came out to them. At the end of that conversation, I was really glad that the man knew someone like Billie who would just let him be who he is. All in all, not a long conversation but one of the best of the evening. On top of that, I have to say that her hair looks really cute in this shot, I think.
Tracy passed along to me a card with her "where are they now" information (I put together a display and will send out updated information to our classmates in the weeks ahead). When I read it after the reunion, she had written a nice note inside about how she never knew me well but that she appreciated the work I'd done on collecting the information. And all I could think was that I'd missed an opportunity to talk a little more with her that night. I hope at 25 or 30 years I have another chance.
At the end of the night Kevin was sitting in the group we were in. Another opportunity lost - we were on the verge of going home, so I got nothing more than a couple of photos. Shame on me for that. With luck, we'll meet up again.
created the banners - as we waited for more people to show up, we pointed out where we all had signed them.
I hope that they last right through to future reunions.
They were there awaiting us all at 10:30. Others trickled along (and credit to Anita who recruited classmates from among the spectators as we walked along) before the start. Claus, Joletta, and Allan shown here.
including a Don Diego's entry!
And hey, that's my former next door neighbour in the orange as part of the cluster of class of '78 grads.
And that? One of the 2010 Olympic mascots taking part in the parade and staying at our hotel. That there?
Sumi. I dunno - cute, but not my idea of a mascot for the Vancouver games.
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